Being a plus size Lolita
Hello, it is me again, this time back with another story of my Lolita life. I will be discussing the life of a plus size Lolita, the struggles I have faced.
Back in 2012, I started my quest for Lolita and met my future of wearing the fashion at my local convention. I went to my first ever Lolita fashion panel. While I was sitting there, listening to the speakers, I was completely mesmerized by what I saw. I also seen this as an opportunity to met new friends and and finally found something to express myself how I wanted. After the con had finished for the day, I went home and began to research how I could get my hands on this stuff.
Then, I was hit with a problem...........most of these pretty, frilly, lacey dresses were made for people skinnier than I. However, I did not let that stop me. After some Google searching, I found a website that did custom sizing. Little did I know, the site I brought my first dress from was known for making fakes. But, I didn't know that at the time. Well, I ordered my dress, paid for it and waited for it to arrive. I was so excited to receive it. Well, about a month later, it arrived. I quickly pulled it out of the plastic wrapping, and went to try it on. It fit, but not how I imagined it would. It was like wearing a sack. At this time also, I did not own a petticoat either. I was disappointed. It was not what I wanted to look like. I wanted to look like the girls I had seen at the con. I felt like my dream of wearing Lolita was quickly running away from me.
After this bad experience, I went on hiatus for two years from Lolita fashion because I thought it was not possible to achieve my dream. Even though I did not attend meet ups for those two years, I still maintained contact with the girls from the community and continued a friendship with them outside of Lolita. Another reason I was on hiatus, I was a university student at the time, so I was poor and did not have much money. However, in 2014, I persevered and returned to the Lolita meets in said bad dress. I wanted an honest opinion from my Lolita community.
In 2014, I felt happy with my life and money situation and had motivation to persue Lolita fashion once more. After much feedback and suggestions, I purchased another dress, this time from a Chinese indie brand called "Fanplusfriend". I also heard this brand was also hit and miss, so I took the risk and ordered a coord anyway. This brand also made custom plus size stuff as well for an extra fee. But, I did not care about the extra fee, I just wanted to wear Lolita fashion. I was very impressed by this website as it had the models on the site with a complete coord. I used this as a guide of what to purchase and add to my cart, complete with my measurements. As I got to the check- out, I felt a sense of self satisfaction that by the website having the coord suggestions, I guides novices of how to put a coord together.
About a month later, I received the Jumper skirt (JSK), blouse and hair piece. I was really excited and happy with what I received. It was a print called "A Mid Summers' Night Dream". I got it in the purple colour way (as purple is my favourite colour). With this order I also brought a proper petticoat as well. This made a big difference of how the fashion looked on me and the Lolita silhouette I was aiming to achieve. I was feeling very positive about this experience the second time round. I could not wait for the next Lolita meet up to wear it!!
From then on, I felt confident of what I could do and achieve in this fashion as a plus sized girl. After this purchase, I brought more outfits from Fanplusfriend. This website had changed my life. Then about a year on, I found a shopping service called Clobbaonline. Some indie brands from this place also made plus size. I also made purchases from this site. Once again, the clothes fitted me well and I was satisfied. I began to build a comprehensive wardrobe, and was proud at what I had achieved along the way.
So the point I'm trying to make is that ordering through these websites also allowed me to grow in Lolita and along the way, learning what looks good on me and what doesn't. It's about learning to live with what you have got and how wearing Lolita makes you feel. It's about overcoming those self doubts and being determined to succeed at and expressing yourself as you want.
As a side note, I know that there are people out there that are not plus size and also struggle with fitting in "brand" and are not alone. But remember, you are beautiful just the way you are!!
Ok, that's all for this blog post. See ya next time!!
It's always good to see a story with a happy ending. While I'm not considered plus size in the UK, I sometimes to with lolita (mainly due to my chest - thankfully, hips don't matter in lolita, since I'm a pronounced hourglass shape). And yet even I know of some incredible options for plus size lovelies, that offer either larger or custom sizes. Many of my friends who are plus size also don't let it stop them from looking fabulous and they often make a conscious choice to support smaller indie labels with their custom whilst getting lolita clothes. Yeah, it is a shame that not all brands are accessible to everyone, but that's exactly the same on the high street. Luckily, more and more lolitas who struggle with size for whatever reason have come to see it this way and, like you, find brands whose clothing will work for them - but still there are too many lolitas who will use their size to justify print replicas or who will just sit and moan instead of doing something about their situation. Let's hope they'll eventually come round too.
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